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* * *
Reflecting on the conversation later, I felt gratitude. I asked, "Why?" I could see I, as a chaplain, felt treated by the nurse with respect and kindness, even as a normal human being. I, for example, did not sense being treated as a role, chaplain, though that role was part of the meeting. We would not even have met without the roles of nurse and chaplain. I recalled how little I had been treated like she had treated me. Starting in professional ministry as a 15-year-old and being devout religiously from a small child, I had mostly been treated as something other than a normal human being - more like an oddity.
I can admit, earlier in life I did not appreciate my place among others, with others. I wanted to be seen as special, treated as other, so I am partly responsible for not having been treated as a like human being. We are each already special, for being who we are; when we try to be special, we find we set ourselves apart; special is special for being with, not apart from. Anyway, is it not futile for something special to try to be special?
* * *
So, that day I was serving as a chaplain, but the I serving is not that, or any role. Fundamentally, I am not even a person. Yet, I have chosen to be a person, for I was chosen to be a person. This sounds contradictory, and to the mind it may be, but in Spirit not so. I am part of the oneness, of everyone, with you. I have chosen, I have sensed, this earthy trip for some reason. I am the Soul having a pilgrimage here: that pilgrimage includes the make-up of person, and that is to be embraced fully. The more I realize I am essentially not a person at all, the more I gladly and thankfully don the personhood garb and glory in this brief and wonderful passage here as a unique expression of Life.
Continued... |
